Mum blamed for asking teenage stepson to move out: ‘I want my room back’

A woman who wants her 18-year-old stepdaughter to move out so she can use her bedroom for her biological child has received a storm of backlash on Reddit.

In a post on Reddit’s Am I the Asshole (AIBU) forum Under the username throwawayaita284, the woman said, “We recently found out we have another child, and since our house only has 3 bedrooms, there just won’t be enough room. I want transform Erin’s [her stepdaughter] bedroom in children’s room.

“Since this is my house, I thought my husband would understand that I want my room back because I was nice enough to let her stay here for 6 years. She’s 18 now and legally an adult, so I don’t mind. don’t feel guilty asking her to leave,” the mother-in-law said.

According to a August 2019 article published by the American Psychological Association (APA)“Under the best conditions, it can take two to four years for a new blended family to adjust to living together.”

The article noted that a marriage involving children from a previous marriage presents many challenges, such as financial and living arrangements.

“Adults need to agree on where they will live and how they will share their money. More often than not, partners embarking on a second marriage report that moving into a new home, rather than one of partner’s previous residences, is advantageous as the new environment becomes ‘home to them,'” the APA article states.

A woman sitting near moving boxes looking frustrated trying to talk to a woman wearing headphones.
iStock/Getty Images Plus

Explaining that Erin is “amazing” with her biological five-year-old son (whom she shares with Erin’s father), the woman in the latest Reddit post said she was “a little jealous of the bond that they have”.

However, the mother-in-law claimed that “that’s not why I want her out, as my husband keeps thinking”, saying “I still want a relationship with her”.

She noted: “My husband is angry at my decision and calls me an AH [a**hole] and saying if she goes then he goes too. I don’t want to lose him too but I feel like it’s my decision, not his.”

Several Reddit users slammed the mum for ‘prioritizing a room over a child’ and expecting the child to be ‘grateful’ for being allowed to stay in her home.

In a comment that received 14,600 upvotes, one user said, “YTA [you are the a**hole] You want a relationship with her, but in all the years she was a child in your home, you were never her mother. Shame on you for prioritizing a bedroom over a child.”

In a comment that got 8,200 upvotes, another user said, “Let’s not forget the line where she expected a 12 year old to be grateful that she (OP [original poster]) allowed him to live in his house (OP) for the past six years. Imagine being so far away in your own black hole from which no self-awareness can escape.”

A third said: “Don’t forget to add that she thinks it is reasonable for a student to live in a place where she is uncomfortable or to afford an apartment. And after 6 years , it’s still HIS home. Major YTA.”

And a fourth agreed, saying: “An 18-year-old college student too. Like she’s basically still a kid. 21+, I can maybe understand, but 18? No, OP is a huge AH ​​out of it. scale,” in a comment that got 1,500 upvotes.

Newsweek has contacted the original author (user throwawayaita284) for comment.

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Dora W. Clawson